Being in a long distance relationship is really hard. I’m sure that if the stars align, there are some benefits to a long distance relationship. But unless both people in this relationship can cope with the stress of the distance on the same level, there is going to be a lot emotional stress, hurt feelings, and really hard days. And it’s highly unlikely that both people are equally as strong. That’s what makes the hard days so brutal.
People respond to loneliness and stress differently.
One person becomes more loving when they are lonely and stressed, and the other person becomes more distant, pushing their love away to avoid feeling hurt. Or maybe both people do a little bit of pushing away.
“Actions speak louder than words.” But when you are in a long distance relationship, you do not have the benefit of action.
You can’t laugh together. You can’t see the look on your partner’s face if they are upset, confused, hurt, or even happy. You miss out on seeing the spark in their eyes that reminds you that all they want is to love and be loved by you. You can’t hug, cuddle, kiss, hold hands, or even look into each other’s eyes. Pictures and video can only remedy the need to see your partner – it can’t remedy the need to feel your partner. It can’t remedy the need to interact with and react to your partner.
You miss all of those little signals they give with their body language. When their eyes are smiling, but their face is stern, and you know they are trying not to laugh. When you are away from your partner, you miss the way the warm sunlight illuminates their face in the morning, you miss looking into their eyes and communicating without ever speaking a word.
The biggest cause of loneliness is the void that only their presence can fill. Even if they aren’t touching you, even if they are simply sitting beside you, you can feel their presence – their warmth and energy. The sound of their breathing can soothe you.
In person, you have the luxury of laughing together. In person, you have the luxury of waking them up in the morning. Of giving them a look of reassurance. Even their annoying habits are a blessing in disguise, because at least you have their presence. In person, you can experience the act of loving your partner.
When you love someone from a distance, words are all you have. Whether you speak those words or type them. At a distance, you don’t have the ability to love your partner, to experience them, with action – only with words. You type and speak “I love you” more times than you can count, but you still don’t feel as if you have expressed it at all.
Each of you express your love with action, to an extent. Sending pictures, delivering flowers, devoting time. But you are each loving one another separately – and the only way you can convey that is with your words. At a distance, you cling to your feelings of love, desperate to express it with your presence. You cling to the memory of their presence, and you communicate your love with words.
Words are the most significant expression of love, in a long distance relationship.
So take good care of your words.
Because love without presence is faith. Love without presence is like searching in the dark; your words are the guiding light.
Long Distance Relationship Tips: Love in Long Distance Relationships