“So, when are you and DN getting married?”

“So, when are you and DN getting married?”

“So, when are you and DN getting married?”

I get asked a lot of questions like: “Are you married yet?“, “When are you and DN getting married?“, and “Why haven’t you gotten married yet?
Most of these questions come from readers of my blog or other bloggers. My family doesn’t ask me anymore.

I wish I could say the answer was easy, but it’s actually quite complicated. I was prepared to marry DN during my first visit to India. We were practically inseparable those last two months, and we both knew that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives.

When he told his family about our love for each other, earlier this year, they were shocked and immediately disapproved.
They haven’t hinted at approval since then…

It’s important to DN to wait for the approval of his family, so that’s what we’re trying to do.

But I can’t help but wonder: How can his family approve of me if they don’t get to know me better? Yet they can’t get to know me better because I’m technically not allowed to go to his home (now that they know) until after marriage. Which won’t happen until they approve of me.
It’s a catch 22.

I want to get married soon.
DN wants to wait for his family’s approval (which I understand), and to have better jobs and be more financially secure. I respect his wishes.
After reading this article, I started to really reflect on the situation. Ultimately, I feel that getting married won’t delay any progress or success in the future.

I feel like something needs to be done in this situation, and I just can’t shake the feeling that it needs to happen now.

It’s easier some days. Just not lately…

6 Comments

  • Cindy

    Be strong little traveler. Fill your time with what you love. Don’t forget about everything you dream of. Paint. Dance. Sing. Go outside a few times a day for 30-60 minutes. We love you!

  • Katy

    That is quite a catch 22. Hang in there. I understand his point of view, but I also understand the other side too. Jobs and financial security can go away after marriage, but the commitment you have to each other can see you through those times, for better or worse.:)

  • Jessica

    So I’m curious, you can’t go to his home but could he plan to have dinner out with his family and you? Like a neutral ground where they can see you two together and how happy you are?

    • Rani

      Oh I wish I could describe it better. In one way, it wouldn’t be culturally acceptable for them to see me and DN in our natural state. I can’t even laugh or smile with him in the presence of elders (in his family anyway). That will change after marriage.
      As far as meeting his parents somewhere outside the home, well that wouldn’t really happen either. It really is a catch 22.

      The only thing we can hope for is that his sister and her husband can help us convince them to accept.

  • aobeamber

    Parents decision is really important. It is discouraging that your are not even allowed to see them. I just hope you know what your are doing and where you are heading

    • Rani

      Yes, it’s quite a bit discouraging.
      But yes, ultimately, there is a goal we are working towards.

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